Blood Memory: The Complete Season One (Books 1-5) Page 13

  They wore an assortment of dark blues, browns and greens, the closest colours to black they could find.

  A wooden box hastily, but lovingly, assembled from doors and torn wall panels floated beside Big Daddy like a calf whale beside its mother. It was tethered by a short length of rope.

  Anne and Jessie had threaded plastic flowers in Mary’s hair. A crown of roses, bluebells and lavender. Anne had searched through the women’s clothing wardrobes below deck. Most of it was not appropriate for any woman to wear, never mind an elegant lady on her deathbed. But among the kinky costumes was a long, discreet grey dress. Why it was amongst the other gaudy clothing was anybody’s guess.

  Tears leaked from a seemingly unaware Jess. Anne wiped them for her, as well as her own. Every time Stan looked like he was about to burst into tears he seemed to concentrate on something and it lifted his spirits enough for him not to breakdown.

  Stan had found a pocketbook Bible in a drawer in one of the cabins. He chose a passage he liked, and it fell upon Jordan to read it.

  After reading the passage, Stan leaned down and kissed Mary on the cheek. He brushed off the tear that landed on her forehead and severed the rope. The wooden box gently bobbed in the water for a while, as if deciding which direction to venture, then began to drift away.

  53.

  Anne fed food into Jessie’s mouth, who chewed morosely. Stacey’s necklace jingled as Jess’s fingers wound round it. Jordan stared at the floor, lost in thought.

  Slow heavy footsteps descended down the stairs. Stan’s eyes were red, puffy and swollen like he’d gone a few rounds with a heavyweight contender. It was a wonder he could still see.

  Anne got up and embraced him. “I’ll get you a plate.”

  Stan shook his head. “No, thank you.”

  “You have to eat something.”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “But it’s my speciality,” Jordan said. “Boiled cardboard with a side of Evening Standard.”

  Stan smiled. “Maybe later.” He sat in silence a moment. He cleared his throat. “Anne, put some music on please, love.”

  Anne pushed the tasteless morsel into her cheek like a hamster. “Sure. What would you like?”

  “Something a little upbeat. Surprise me.”

  Anne raised a questioning eyebrow at Jordan, who shrugged. Anne rifled through the CDs, most of them an assortment of RnB, rap and trance, compliments of the millionaire pimp. But someone else had smuggled in some good tunes.

  “And put the lights on,” Stan said. “I can barely see in here. Mary loved us all like family. She wouldn’t have wanted us sitting around in the dark like this, poking at our food. I can’t make myself jitterbug, but we can remember her for the way she was and not the way…” His voice cracked.

  The music started. A deep throaty female voice Jordan vaguely recognised but couldn’t put a name to. His foot tapped along to the beat.

  Stan offered his hand to Anne. “May I have this dance?”

  Anne stifled her surprise and took Stan’s hand. They faced one another and began to bob and weave in what they considered to be dancing.

  “Deary me,” Jordan said, turning to Jessie. “Shall we show them how it’s done?”

  Jessie didn’t reply.

  “Silence answers to the affirmative.”

  Jordan took away her plate and set it on the table. He took her hand, helped her off her seat, and moved onto the ‘dance floor’. He held Jessie’s hands and moved them back and forth. It felt good to be moving. He put his hands in the crook of her arms and lifted her up as high as the low ceiling would allow. She still didn’t react, but he let himself imagine her squealing with joy.

  By the end of the song, they were all panting, sweating, and out of breath. The song changed, this time something rocky, and they changed partners. Stan and Jordan moshed to the best of their ability. The song ended, and they changed partners again. Jordan with Anne. The music was now a slow ballad.

  Jordan and Anne looked at one another, smiling awkwardly. They knew the routine. They moved in close. He wrapped his arms around her, and she leaned her head against his chest.

  “Do you know this song?” Anne asked with the air of someone trying to make polite conversation.

  “No. Do you?”

  She shook her head. Her hair tickled his nose.

  They swayed in silence, the distance between them very close.

  Stan and Jessie were in a similar embrace, both needing to be held. It wasn’t romantic, but more like a father with his daughter at her wedding. And although Stan was the one with his arms wrapped around Jessie, it was clear who was giving who the most support.

  Jordan nodded to them. “Look.”

  “Amazing what a little touch can do, isn’t it?” Anne pressed herself against him, trying to fill the inexistent gap between them.

  “The song’s finished,” Jordan said.

  She nuzzled his chest.

  Jordan smiled and leaned his cheek on the top of Anne’s head. The perfect height.

  Out the window, the moon seemed to fill the entire sky. Something smudged the image of the moon… Something that had been pressed against the glass. Jordan peered closer. It was a child’s dirty handprint… Just like…

  Jordan stepped back, breaking their embrace. There was drool on Anne’s lip, and matching wet patch on Jordan’s shirt.

  Anne noticed Jordan’s expression and mistook the drool for the cause of Jordan’s retreat. Her cheeks burned red. “I’m sorry. I must be more tired than I thought.”

  Jordan looked back at the window. The smudged handprint was gone.

  54.

  Jordan leaned against the railing and stared out at the stars. They shone bright and remote.

  “I thought I would find you here,” Anne said. “Do you mind if I join you?”

  Jordan waved a hand vaguely.

  Anne pressed her weight against the railing. The night’s chill breathed down her neck. She shivered. “Chilly night.”

  Big Daddy rocked gently with the peaceful ocean. The moonlight picked out the tide with haunted strokes.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

  Jordan nodded. “Yeah.”

  Anne breathed in a lungful of air. “It’s good to be on the sea again, don’t you think? No Lurchers, no worries.”

  Jordan sighed. “Why don’t you say what you came out here to say?”

  “What did I come out here to say?”

  “I’m not going to tell you.”

  “Tell me what?”

  “Stop with the mind games.”

  “What mind games?”

  He looked off into the distance.

  “We can’t solve our problems if we don’t talk about them, you know. Is there anything new?”

  Jordan shook his head. “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “What was that earlier?”

  “Earlier when?”

  Anne gave him a flat stare. “Now who’s playing mind games?”

  Jordan smiled. “It was nothing.”

  “It was obviously something.”

  “It was a dream, all right? On the land I had a dream and tonight… tonight I saw a part of it again.”

  “A dream? I thought you didn’t have dreams?”

  “I didn’t.”

  “When did you have this one?”

  “The night we were in the council building. And when we were shipwrecked.”

  “What was it about?”

  “It was just a dream. It’s not important.”

  “Don’t repress.”

  “I’m not repressing.”

  “You are. This is good, Jordan. Don’t you see? Sometimes our memories come to us in ways we at first don’t understand. Your memory is coming back to you. This is a huge step forward.”

  Jordan shook his head. “Some memories are best not remembered.”

  Anne frowned. “What do you mean?”

  Jordan was silent
for a moment. “My grandfather served in the Second World War. He had done all these terrible things, but he never talked about it. If he had the choice, don’t you think he would have preferred not to remember those things? You guys are like that. None of you ever talk about it.”

  “It’s painful for us, Jordan. Events at the time of the Incident were rarely positive.”

  “Do you remember where you were when the virus first broke out?”

  “The Incident? Of course. Do you want to know where I was?”

  Jordan didn’t answer.

  “I was with my two o’clock at the time. I’d put Mr Matthews under hypnosis as part of his treatment. We were accessing his early childhood memories. Suddenly, there were these screams from the waiting room, but before I could get up the door flew open and a crazed-looking man came in. I asked who he was, but he didn’t seem to hear me. I remember seeing his eyes and thinking that his was a mind lost. We were taught there’s no such thing, but his eyes… they were dead.

  “Mr Matthews still laid hypnotised on the sofa, as helpless as a babe. I asked the man to leave, but he simply walked up to Mr Matthews. No, not walked. Stalked. Like he was hunting. I thought if he was awake, Mr Matthews might be able to scare the man away, so I said, ‘Mr Matthews, when I clap my hands, you will wake up.’ Just as Mr Matthews woke up, the man bit him on the cheek and ripped off a big chunk. Mr Matthews screamed. He beat at the man, but couldn’t get him off. I beat at the man too, but it was no good.

  “Soon, Mr Matthews’ screams stopped and the madman carried on biting him. I ran out into the waiting room to call the police. That’s when I saw the bedlam outside. I ran and didn’t look back. My feet took me to the docklands. I was dazed, lost amongst the people. Stan and Mary pulled me onto Haven, and I’ve been here ever since.”

  “Do you wish you couldn’t remember it?”

  “I suppose I would prefer not to remember it,” she admitted. “But as bad as that memory is, it’s gone into creating the person I am today.”

  “Me too. Maybe I was supposed to forget everything that happened to me. I don’t remember the Incident. I don’t even know if I had any family to lose, but I can’t help but think that maybe I’m better off not knowing.”

  “But such a big part of you is missing, Jordan. Six years of your life. Can you live with that? Can you live with sacrificing that amount of time just so you don’t have to relive memories that might be a bit painful?”

  “Maybe I protected myself from whatever memories I had. What if the only way I could live with myself was if I couldn’t remember it?”

  Anne nodded. “It’s called repression. But like all things, it’s better when it’s relieved. You spent one day on the land, and it woke something up deep inside you, Jordan. You have to let it out. Out there on the land your past is waiting for you to discover it. It triggered a window into your past. You should climb through it.”

  Jordan shook his head. “It’s in for a long wait. I have no intention of spending another night on the land. The truth will have to remain buried forever.”

  “Nothing ever remains buried forever, Jordan. Tonight is proof of that. These visions, whatever they are, won’t stop until you remember. You’re on a rollercoaster, and there’s no getting off till the end.”

  55.

  The knife etched a single notch into the hull. Stan blew into it and brushed the plastic flakes clear with a finger. It was the fourth notch on board Big Daddy. Jordan sat to one side. He curled another wafer from the wooden horse he was whittling. Jessie sat on the prow, looking out at the horizon. The clouds stifled the sunlight and created a sombre, dull mood.

  Anne approached and spoke in a low voice. “I need to talk to you both about Jess.”

  “What is it?” Stan asked, pocketing his knife.

  “Whatever Jess has, it’s not shock.”

  Stan frowned. “How do you know?”

  “Shock doesn’t usually last this long.”

  “How long does it usually last?”

  “Minutes… A few hours at most.”

  “Do you know what it is?”

  Anne shook her head. “The closest thing I can think of is locked-in syndrome, but it’s different. She reacts to stimuli and she can walk and move her hands and eyes. Locked-in syndrome is a vegetative state.”

  Jordan frowned. “How long will she be like it?”

  “I have no idea. Days, weeks.”

  “Years?”

  Anne spread her hands. “There’s just no way of knowing. But I’ll tell you this: if there’s another storm while she’s like this, she’ll stand no chance.”

  They shared a concerned look. Jessie still sat, having not moved a muscle, fiddling with her necklace.

  “Why does she do that?” Jordan asked. “Play with the necklace like that.”

  “Nervous energy. Impulse. I’m not sure. It might be the only way for us to gauge how she’s feeling. This is a frightening experience for her.”

  “It’s a frightening experience for all of us.”

  56.

  Etched into the table top was a map of the world. An inscription read:

  THE INDIAN OCEAN.

  A lantern swung gently with the movement of the sea, casting shadows around the room. The Indian Ocean was a vast body of water that stretched all the way from India in the north to Antarctica in the south, and hugged on either side by Africa and Australia.

  Jordan traced a finger from the UK, along the French coast, Portugal, around Spain, down past the continent of Africa, around Cape Town and past Madagascar. It was an intimidating distance from their current location.

  There was a soft knock at the door. Stan peeked in. “Sorry if I’m interrupting.”

  “No, no. Come in. I was just, ah...”

  Jordan moved between Stan and the table to block the map from his view, but it was too big.

  “Planning a wee trip?” Stan asked.

  “Brushing up on my geography.”

  “It’s always good to expand one’s knowledge.”

  “Was there something you wanted, Stan?”

  “No. Well, yes. It’s Mary. You see, before she died she said something to me, and it doesn’t quite make sense. It’s like she gave me just half a message and I was wondering if you could help me…”

  “How can I help?”

  “This will probably sound strange, but did she say anything to you?”

  Jordan pursed his lips together in an expression of concentration. “No, I can’t say she did. Most of what she said I couldn’t really make out.”

  “So, she did say something?”

  “Yes, but like I said… very hard to understand.”

  “What could you make out?”

  Jordan blew air out of his mouth. “Just a few words here and there, really. Nothing meaningful.”

  Stan nodded, clearly disappointed. “I thought so. It was a long shot, I suppose. Well, don’t let me keep you.” Stan moved toward the door.

  “Just out of interest,” Jordan said, “what did she say to you?”

  Stan smiled. “Oh, nothing meaningful.”

  Jordan watched Stan’s departing back, then returned to looking at the map. He shook his head. “Impossible.” Then he paused, looking at the map again. He looked up.

  “Stan, wait!” Jordan moved round the table to the door. “Stan?”

  After a moment, Stan’s head popped round the corner. “What is it?”

  “Can you come in here a minute?”

  Jordan traced his finger through the Mediterranean Sea to Egypt, where there was a thin strip of land between the Mediterranean and the Indian Ocean.

  “Was there ever a canal built across Egypt? For boats to cross from the Mediterranean?”

  “You’re talking about the Suez Canal?”

  Jordan’s heart skipped. “Do you know anything about it?”

  “Built in 1869. A remarkable piece of engineering. Did you know it took ten years to construct?”

  “No, I didn’
t know that.”

  “Are you all right? You look a bit pale.”

  “I’m fine. In fact, I feel better than I have in a long time.” He placed a hand on Stan’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Stan. I lied to you. Mary did say something to me before she died.”

  Stan’s voice was almost a whisper. “What did she say?”

  “Let’s go find Anne and Jess. It was meant for all of us.”

  57.

  Jordan sat bent over his knees, his hands together in his lap in the main living area. Stan, Anne and Jessie were sat on the leather sofa facing him.

  “Are you sure that’s what she said?” Stan said.

  Jordan nodded. “Word for word.”

  “The Indian Ocean?” Anne said. “I don’t even know where that is!”

  Jordan spread a map out over the table and pointed it out. “It’s a long, long way…”

  “It’s not as far as you might think,” Stan said. He pointed to Egypt and ran a finger from the north side of the country to the south. “Around here there’s something called the Suez Canal. If we could get to the entrance, we might be able to sail across Egypt and emerge on the other side in the Indian Ocean. It would save us months of sailing around Africa. And any potential pitfalls.”

  Anne frowned. “Why would she want us to go there?”

  Stan shook his head. “That, I can’t explain.”

  “Have you ever been there before, Stan?” Jordan asked.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure? She talked about how beautiful it was. How would she know that?”

  “I honestly don’t know. Maybe she saw it on TV. Or read about it in a magazine.”

  Anne pursed her lips and looked directly at Jordan. “Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?”

  “I was worried.”

  “About what?”

  Jordan chose his words carefully. “We all loved Mary. As a wife, as a mother. It would be easy to follow what she said without thinking.”

  “We’ve talked about sailing to calmer seas before. Why are you nervous now?”